Of Poetry and Prayer

yesterday's scene far from the maddening crowd

 

 

 

 

the crowds 

chanted 

and waved

littering the street with branches

as the town shook with excitement

and i wonder

what exactly was accomplished that day

because i know 

where the crowd was

a few days later

After a day of watching noisy crowds all day yesterday, I wrote the above 10 lines as one of many "10 lines" I've written since the beginning of the Lenten Season.  I post them on my Facebook page.  This morning, a person I respect commented that he read my "prayers" and added, "If it were up to me, I would gather them into a collection  But that's just me."  

I thought about that word prayer.  I thought my 10 lines more poetry than prayer.  But then I read these lines from Bodmin Hermit on  Twitter:  "The heart of prayer is not to be found in the recitation of many words but in opening ourselves to a different level of consciousness which the Christian tradition calls the contemplative mind, or the mind of Christ." 

Maybe poetry and prayer.

are more closely related than I realized!

Because You Ask Not

"You have not because you ask not."  James 4:2

It's frequently true in prayer,

and it's often true in marriage.

Well into our 49th year of marriage, I expressed my

frustration at "always" having to turn my husband's stockings

right side out when taking them out of the dryer.

Without a word, he started turning them

right side out before he put them into the laundry basket!

What a difference it makes in folding the laundry!

WHY didn't I ask long ago?!?

About Prayer

My phone broke this morning and I can't get it to a repair shop until Monday so I will be out of communication for at least the next couple of days. Pray that it is fixable; I really don't want to have to buy a new one!

So came the Facebook message from a missionary friend in Indonesia.  I shuttered realizing how out of touch and discombobbled I'd feel if it happenened to me here in my comfortable, familiar environment.

I started to respond with something "spiritual", like "Aren't you glad communication with God is never broken?"

I deleted that when I remembered Psalm 66:18.  Instead I sent a sad-faced emoji alongside praying hands.  Then I did a heart-check and prayed for her.

It's a concept about prayer that I sometimes forget.  I'm so thankful the Heavenly Father forgives my acknowledged and confessed sin.  I'm thankful I don't have to wait until Mondays to experience restored communication!

I'm a Beginner

...at prayer.

At almost 70 years old,

I'm still a beginner.

I'm learning prayer isn't reading books

about prayer.

It's not composing a prayer list.

It isn't only an oral or silent recitation

of requests.

I'm finding it to involve

much more listening than I imagined...

as much a response as an initiation.

But then again, as I said before,

I'm just a beginner.

 Following a lead in another book,

I ordered this through interlibrary loan.

 Today I read a bit more and

suspect I've read it before...

at least THIS prayer.
God has taught me WAY more
than two times that He is love!
When will I ever learn,
"miserable ingrate" that I am?

just ordinary stuff

"Nothing special; just ordinary stuff"

were the words I used to describe the day I anticipated

when messaging our two daughters this morning...

Opening my twitter account a few minutes later, 

I found these lines from a Robert Burns' poem:

And O! may Heaven their simple lives prevent 

 From Luxury’s contagion, weak and vile! 

Then, howe’er crowns and coronets be rent, 

A virtuous populace may rise the while, 

And stand a wall of fire around their much-lov’d Isle. 

("The Cotter's Saturday Night")

 And in response I pray:

Keep me simple, dear Lord.

Ordinary in my sight

immune from Luxury's contagion.

Virtuous, rising, and above all to stand...

Answered Prayer

 Our prayers were answered so beautifully yesterday,

and as a direct result we were able to bless someone else today.

I took these photos from the back seat of the car as we test drove it

and later signed the paper to purchase it.

As the sun sets tonight, it is possible that our Father 

may be giving us the opportunity to purchase a second car as well.

Our 2002 and 2008 cars have over 170,000 and 180,000 miles on them.

Yesterday we replaced one with a used model with about  1/2 of the miles 

on either of the two cars.

It is possible that we will be replacing the second one soon.

So thankful we asked Him.

Overwhelmed by His gracious answer.

Making Beauty Where I Am

...and making beauty where I am

 These words from Elizabeth's "About Me"

seemed to jump off my laptop screen and fix themselves firmly in my mind.

This is SO my desire--to make beauty where I am...

So many appear to do it so well; so effortlessly.

I, on the other hand, struggle.

Never quite satisfied with my attempts.

Last Sunday, our class lesson was on Creation from Genesis 1.

Once again, I noticed the words describing God's satisfaction at the end of each creation day:

"And God saw that it was good."

 Today, with new resolve I commit to making beauty where I am

whether by music or meal,

gentle word or clean window,

arrangement or accessory;
and to see that it IS good...

“Father, free us  (ME) from any need to be impressive today, or competent or celebrated. 
Help us (ME)  to rest in your love and to offer a kind presence.”
(Scotty Smith, Twitter)

Other Peoples' Prayers

Several phrases in this morning's prayer challenged me 

and expressed my personal requests in succinct and poignant words... 

Francis Harvey Green, though dead, still speaks.

...we are not lonely orphans in the world

...prompt us to listen to Thy voice and to interpret aright Thy message

Save us from listlessness and laziness...

...fill us with cheer

...lengthen our love

...increase our usefulness 

Do You Ever Go Back?

Speaking of "words failing me".....this describes my prayer life. I find myself woefully incapable of expressing myself in verbal prayers lately. I stumble. I grasp for "proper" words. I ramble and garble. I can't collect my thoughts or express them in an "organized" manner. It's very humbling.

The words above were my response to a post on a blog recently.

I, who used to find pleasure in finding "just the right word" to express myself,

find myself with fewer and fewer words more and more of the time.

I returned to the blog this morning.  Sometimes there is a follow-up comment

that brings clarity or consolation

(Do YOU ever go back to check for a follow-up comment?)

In this case, someone had posted a Madeleine L'Engle poem 

which couldn't have been more reassuring.

Sometimes it IS good to go back!

A totally unrelated photo....I'm trying to locate my autumn decorations and so far, this is all I've found.

 "I, who live by words, am wordless when
I try my words in prayer. All language turns
To silence. Prayer will take my words and then
Reveal their emptiness. The stilled voice learns
To hold its peace, to listen with the heart
To silence that is joy, is adoration.
The self is shattered, all words torn apart
In this strange patterned time of contemplation
That, in time, breaks time, breaks words, breaks me,
And then, in silence, leaves me healed and mended.
I leave, returned to language, for I see
Through words, even when all words are ended."

(Madeleine L'Engle)

Frank Boggs & Others

 OTHERS
Lord, help me live from day to day
In such a self-forgetful way
That even when I kneel to pray
My prayer shall be for others.
Refrain
Others, Lord, yes others
Let this my motto be
Help me to live for others
That I may live like Thee.

One album cover among MANY I remember...

My travel time to be with my mother and dad is frequently spent in prayer.  For others.  Seems there are SO many needs, large and small, among my friends and acquaintances.  Our small community has experienced several tragic deaths recently.  The nursing home where Mother resides is full of folk and their families who carry heavy burdens. Our small church family has their share of challenges, disappointments and stresses.  Then there's my family...

As I drove the now-familiar route this morning, this song from the past kept playing in my mind.  I remembered ALL of these words and came home this evening to look up the other verses.  I remembered the deep baritone voice and the name of the singer. Tonight, his name escapes me...

I DO remember other long-play albums my mother used to play on our large, stereo unit that stood in the living room of the parsonage in which we lived  Speakers placed the music strategically throughout the house.  What a legacy I have in the strong messages of those great songs!  The Revivaltime Choir, an album or two of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans and their children, Helen Barth, The Blackwood Brothers, Bill Pierce and Dick Anthony, The Melody Four and Sixteen Singing Men, The White Sisters, George Beverly Shea...these are just a few singers  whose albums come to mind.  

Frank Boggs!

I just remembered!

Just in time to title this post...

Shadows

Early evening on our front porch.

My Heart Goes After Shadows

 'My God, how far I am from acting  according to what I know so well! I confess it, my heart goes after shadows. I love everything better than communion with You. I am ever eager to get away from You. Often I find it difficult even to say my prayers. There is hardly any amusement I would not  rather take up than set myself to think upon You. Give me grace, O my Father,  to be utterly ashamed of my own reluctance! Rouse me from sloth and coldness  and make me desire You with my whole heart. Teach me to love meditation,  sacred reading and prayer. Teach me to love what must  engage my mind for all eternity.' (Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman)

I frequently visit The Breadbox Letters.  I seldom leave without being challenged or inspired by the quotations and meditations Nancy has culled from sources rich in truth and piety.  This prayer she recently posted expresses MY heart's desire SO well--a heart so prone to "go after shadows"... 

Borrowing Prayer

Sometimes when I don't know how to express my own heart to God, 

I "borrow" the prayers of others - like THIS one this morning.
Line by line.  Sentence by sentence.
Pausing between them.

By the time I'm done, it's my own.  

Often, with the reading of the prayer, 

the "pump is primed" and I continue on with additional personal words.   

Frequently I return to the ending of the printed prayer

and end with a sincere & hearty "Amen".

Other times, the prayer is open-ended...

Suffer us not to live selfish or useless lives.

Closer

 It's a small book.  Maybe 3"x 6".   It's an old book.  Spine taped to hold it together.

We read its daily prayer as a "closer" to our devotional time, my husband and I.

Almost ALWAYS there is something uniquely fitting to our current situation, 

and today was no exception.

***
...as with gladness of heart, without haste or confusion of thought, we go about our daily tasks, conscious of ability to meet every rightful demands, seeing the larger meaning of little things, and finding beauty everywhere.

...may we live above all the influences that depress and discourage, and come into that assurance of faith which is itself the victory that overcometh the world.

...we would enter into the secret place of Thy presence, that, hidden with Thee, our souls may be filled with a sense of Thy sheltering care...

There is something reassuring about having a "closer" to our morning quiet hour.

(Closer = a person or thing that closes or ends something.)

Do you have a closer?  And if so, would you share what it is?

Prayer and Presence

 When he called a few days before to tell me he was thinking of bringing Mother

 to the large, extended family gathering, I confess I was dubious about his decision.

 I'm not sure she's been out of the facility containing the Special Care Unit
in which she is living for close to a year.

I'm QUITE certain she's not ridden in a car for that long.
Her words are usually nonsensical, her gait unsteady, and her mind confused.

He agonized over the decision.
I said, "Daddy, you don't have to make up your mind until the morning of."
Well, as you can see, he brought her.
I KNOW he prayed about the decision,

and I have no question that her presence with us that day

and her demeanor were a direct and clear answer to his prayer.

 The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  James 5:16

My personal prayer life was given a tremendous boost

as a result of my father's prayer and my mother's presence. 

Prayer

lately,

my prayers (what prayers?)

seem useless,

impossible to verbalize

and passionless.

it seems pointless

to expect answers from One

who seems so distant;

occupied with matters far larger than me...

yet in desperation,

alone and frightened 

by unfamiliar circumstances and intense pain,

i begged others, "pray for me."

and many did.

one day i will pray again, too.

i know i will.

10/28/2014

The Tenth

 It's a tiny book.  An old book.

It sits with two similarly-sized books in a convenient place for quick reading.

I reached for it and read the prayer for September Eleventh.

It was EXACTLY what I needed to pray in that moment.

Only later did I realize that I was reading it on the tenth.

Sometimes it happens that way.

On a lighter note

~also on the tenth~

I made a pot of creamed soup out of some leftover vegetables.

It was a soup-sort of day and it was DELICIOUS!

If you're interested, you can read more about it here.

Message from a Mug

 

A thoughtful gift from a special friend yesterday

came layered with meaning.

I've been waking frequently during the night recently.

I've spent a few hours trying to analyze "why"...

and occasionally I have prayed--

"occasionally" being the operative word here.

 So many needs, great and small, exist all around me.

This mug with a message tells me to turn those waking hours 

into hours of prayer.  Not to waste ONE minute of them!

(Interestingly, a few friends have been reporting similar experiences--

waking up in the middle of the night.

I believe that like the child Samuel who heard his own name called

in the night and hurried to Eli, an elderly priest sleeping in the other room, 

to question what was going on,

I/WE are hearing a clear call to prayer.)

Tonight, when it happens to me, I WILL be ready.

I WILL pray.  I won't waste a sleepless minute.

By the way, have YOU had any calls to prayer lately?

God in the "Small Things"

...the no-back bars

Me on Facebook this morning:  While multi-tasking yesterday, I lost my keys. I'd appreciate your prayers about this "little thing". I really need to find them. Don't have time for any more searching.

Yesterday morning before going to spend most of the day with my parents (both in a health care facility),  I prepared some No-Bake Reece's Peanut Butter Bars for my husband to take to a board meeting in the evening, washed the bedding to prepare for an overnight guest, put a meal in the crock pot for my husband,  and tried to spot-clean a quite neglected house.  In the process of changing out purses, I THOUGHT I laid the keys on our kitchen island, but when it was time to go, I couldn't find them.  I spent some frantic minutes searching.  My sister said she'd drive, so I left the house feeling really flustered about their loss.



Both my husband and I searched again before going to bed last night to no avail.  So I posted on Facebook.  Another "early-birder" like myself indicated that she would pray.  I got up from my chair, breathed yet ANOTHER prayer, and  made another round of the house.

For some reason, I tipped one of the chairs at our kitchen table.   Just one!  And I was greeted by the sound of keys hitting the floor.

 How they got there is a mystery.  Why I tipped a chair - and that particular one - is even more unexplainable!  But with a thankful heart and fresh faith and trust in my Heavenly Father, I will travel  to be with my parents again this morning.

Thy Kingdom....Thy will

My mother shows Daddy some pictures of them together.

We put a little album in her purse so she can look at them 

when she can't be with him.  

She pulls it out frequently!

My father has been a faithful caregiver to her 

as she lapses further into dementia.

I can't help but think that in addition to concentrating on his own

recovery from open heart surgery,

her future--THEIR future--lies heavily on his mind.  

This morning, my sister and I read from Our Daily Bread

for our morning devotions.

It included reading the latter half of Psalm 37

and some VERY appropriate words for us as we commit ourselves again

to the Heavenly Father's will for us.

Our prayer continues to be,

"...Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done

on earth as it is in heaven..."