Nothing but Aspiration

She sat in our living room.  Poised and serene.

This photo doesn't begin to capture the twinkle in her eye;

the peaceful countenance; the demure smile;
the confidence of an unshakeable faith in Jesus.

Her ninety-nine years had given her composure I can only hope for!

Sixty years ago, she was my first piano teacher.

I owe her BIG time.

I admire her with a capacity I didn't know I possess.

Today, I read these lines in a book I hesitate to identify

without a disclaimer.

It so accurately expresses my experience
AND my aspiration.

Reading is Fundamental

My father wheeling my mother into the Activities Center where he and my husband would  play pool...

.

 I couldn't help thinking of this scene (and many others) when I read and underlined these words:
"The old are wounded too but more used to bearing it."

Reading The Duty of Delight: the Diaries of Dorothy Day is taking me a long time.  

For one thing, it's a long book (almost 700 pages).  

For another, it is intense.  

For another, it is timeless. 

For yet another, I have had similar thoughts, resolutions,

impatiences and yearnings.

Very few pages have been turned before I underline, star, or write a word or two in the column.

I want to absorb these words into my character.

I read slowly because I don't want it to end.

I'm in the 1970's part of her diaries  The last active decade of her life.

Here, in her mid seventies. she writes, 

"The fact that this may be the last year of my life should make me faithful in keeping this diary."

 

No matter how old I get (and I am 75 in Nov 1972, this year), no matter how feeble,

short of breath, incapable of walking more than a few blocks, what with heart murmurs, heart failures, emphysema perhaps, arthritis in feet and knees,

with all these symptoms of age and decrepitude, my heart can still leap for joy

as I read and suddenly assent to some great truth enunciated by some great mind and heart.

(Dorothy Day)

Without a doubt, MY heart still "leaps for joy" as I read

and contemplate the impact of Ms. Day's great mind and heart!

Reading IS fundamental.

Season of Second Chances

For a second year in a row, circumstances prevented me from
retreating at the Abbey of Gethsemani.  Though disappointed, I decided to implement an alternative while remaining at home--
A Faux-Gethsemani experience.

The plan, recorded in my journal, included:

1.  No desserts - focus on fruit and veggies
2.  Read Bounds on prayer
3.  Pray
4.  Journal
5.  Serve others in love
6.  Candle daily
7.  Record blessings each day

Today - four days into my "experience"- I am lighting the candle for the first time.  I had desserts one evening, have fallen asleep almost every night a page or two into Bounds, have prayed little, journaled some, served feebly, and recorded blessings once.

In spite of my sporadic and interrupted efforts, I have a sense of being guided gently into a Season of Second Chances.  This, the title of a (secular) novel I finished prior to my Faux-Gethsemani week, has emerged as the theme of my week. 

Monday, on what would have been Travel Day, I received news of Elisabeth Elliot's death.  Many of her quotes have passed my computer screen throughout the week, contributing to and solidifying my passion to serve Jesus Christ faithfully.

"I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord,

 putting all my energy and strength into it.” Elisabeth Elliot

Then I read this from the pen of  Ed Stetzer  "The comfortable do not create movements. Instead, they originate with those who are desperate, demanding something different. Movements come from those who become more committed than they are now...We all need a cause bigger than ourselves, which can drive us to action with a holy dissatisfaction. I'd say that when women and men allow their faith to be tamed by the world, they end up with a 'nice religion' uninterested in the big issues like global evangelization, world poverty, and injustice. That's why I love passionate people. We need more, not less of them.  Christianity needs unreasonable people who are uncomfortable with the status quo and unwilling to be content with the current mode of life and church. We all need a cause bigger than ourselves, which can drive us to action with a holy dissatisfaction."   

This morning as I lit a  candle for the first time this week, I did so with the awareness that today is the last full day of my Faux-Gethsemani experience.  I'm thankful for all the "second chances" I've had in my life.   At age 66-and-a-half, I borrow Elisabeth's words and say with enthusiasm and expectation "I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord,  putting all my energy and strength into it."  So help me God!

 Unreasonable
Uncomfortable
Driven by a holy dissatisfaction
SO thankful for another Season of Second Chances

Revival in Room 403

 Nancy Leigh DeMoss just tweeted: "Safe in the Arms of Jesus. Elisabeth Elliot, 12/21/26 - 6/15/15" ~ Elisabeth Elliot, a woman whose example of constancy & faith has been of GREAT influence in my life, though I've never met her personally.....

It's kind of a surreal experience to read and digest this news as I sit beside the bedside of my mother while she sleeps. If I calculate correctly, Mother is the same age and also suffers from dementia. (I believe Elizabeth Elliot lived with dementia for over 10 years.)

An album of Fernando Ortega (YouTube) is playing in the background.   "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing."  I'm having a sort of personal revival in Room 403 of the Special Care Unit.   How graciously the Lord is ministering to me.

(And it's only the first day of my Faux-Gethsemani week.

Explanation of that to follow in another post.  Maybe.)

The "Pretty Way"

beauty outside my window...

'Where the devil have you been, you good-for-nothing Irish rascal?' roared an indignant voice.
'I came the pretty way,' came the nonchalant reply.  (Italics mine, from Penelope Wilcock's The Hawk and the Dove Trilogy.)

In an interesting post, "Return to Beauty", Maria described how, in her quest for simplicity, she purged her home of beautiful things that had brought her much pleasure.  Recognizing that God Himself surrounds Himself with and infused His creation with beauty, she is realigning both her inner spirit and exterior life to make room for it again.

Then there's Lord Byron's She Walks in Beauty...

She walks in beauty, like the night

   Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that’s best of dark and bright

   Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

   Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

   Had half impaired the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

   Or softly lightens o’er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express,

   How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,

   So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

   But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

   A heart whose love is innocent!

~~~~~~

I want to walk in beauty..
to be soft, calm, yet eloquent 
with smiles that win, days spent in goodness,
peaceful mind, and heart full of innocent love. 
I want to come the pretty way! 
Come to think of it, this is right on track with my "Word for 2012" --
GRACIOUSNESS.
C.S. Lewis said, 
 "Very often the only way to get a quality in reality
 is to start behaving as if you had it already."   
I'm trying to behave as
AND praying to become a gracious woman.

MENTORS

Recently, Susan of Writing Straight from the Heart and I had a blogversation about some of our personal mentors. I think she started it, calling them her "lifelong mentors", if I recall correctly.  The power of example and modeling is enormous!  At various stages of my life, I've drawn inspiration and information from many women whom I admire greatly.  Some of them include:  Edith Schaeffer (above),

Elizabeth Elliot,

Karen Burton Mains,

Ruth Bell Graham, and

Anne Ortlund

These women have expressed and exhibited their love and commitment to Jesus Christ throughout their lives.  Perfect?  None of them!  But they are women who I believe COULD have said with the Apostle Paul, "Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus" (2 Timothy 1:13). 

There are other women whom I admire for a particular quality - beauty, simplicity, knowledge, style, etc.  These include: Alexandra Stoddard, Mary Emmerling, and Martha Stewart (yes, I mean that Martha).  I'm sure there are many others who have influenced me.  I'm just not coming up with their names right now.

Who are some of YOUR mentors?

EDITH SCHAEFFER on GARDENING

ROBIN'S NESTING PLACE: Edith Schaeffer on Gardening If you've been with me for awhile, you may remember that I have posted a few "gracious women" posts. This past week I stumbled on Robin's Nesting Place and found this WONDERFUL post relating typical, practical Edith Shaeffer wisdom. I believe it will bring blessing to your heart to read this post, and I encourage you to get a copy of the book Robin mentions. I have read it myself many, many times.

By the way, Edith Shaeffer is on my short list of gracious women. I have started compiling and sorting through highlights of her life to relate in the near future. I had the privilege of sitting around a table with her and a handful of Directors of Women's Ministries from various denominations to listen to her "heart" many years ago. What an inexpressible joy it was! I can't begin to tell you what a beautiful and remarkable woman she is.

To link with Robin, click on the title of her blog above - and when you get there, scroll up.

Anne Ortlund, Gracious Woman

“But remember, for all your adult life you’ll be a woman. And how you live your life as a woman, all by yourself before God, is what makes the real you. Nothing on the exterior can touch or change that precious inner sanctuary -- your heart, His dwelling place -- unless you let it. And God, who loves you very much, has tailor made all your outer life -- your circumstances, your relationships -- to pressure you into becoming that beautiful woman He’s planned for you to be.” Anne Ortlund, from her book, Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman

I read this book and several others of Anne when I was just a “young pup”. They were and ARE just what I needed/need. Her life and and ministry complemented that of her husband, Ray, who went to be with Jesus in 2007. She is still involved with their ministry, Renewal Ministries. You can read more about Anne, their precious family, and a letter that Ray wrote a few years before he died to be read to his family upon his death at www.ortlund.org. It is moving! I’ve warned you.

Their son, Ray, is a pastor and continues to have a significant ministry and a challenging blog: Christ is Deeper Still. I highly recommend it and thank God for the life, insight, writings, and family of this gracious woman.

I was honored when Victor Books published a Bible study of mine some years ago and titled it The Beauty of a Disciplined Life. Somehow the similarity in title made me feel closer to Anne.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this gracious woman of faith. Please make me gracious, too. Amen.

Elizabeth Elliot - "a present mind...."

Truly, one of the women I hold in highest regard is Elizabeth Elliot. I was happy to find a site (elizabethelliot.org.) bearing her name and read a March 2009 update by her husband, Lars. In scanning her past newsletters, I came across this hymn she included in the last issue. How calming. How peaceful this approach to the changes life brings! How typical E.E.

A hymn written by Anna L. Waring in 1850:

Father, I know that all my life
Is portioned out for me,
And the changes that are sure to come
I do not fear to see;
I ask Thee for a present mind,
Intent on pleasing Thee.

I would not have the restless will
That hurries to and fro,
Seeking for some great thing to do
Or secret thing to know;
I would be treated as a child
And guided where I go.

Wherever in the world I am,
In whatsoever estate,
I have a fellowship with hearts
To keep and cultivate.

Elizabeth used to close her radio broadcasts and introduce many of her messages with:
You are loved with an everlasting love.
And underneath are the everlasting arms.The truth echoes in my heart in this early morning hour.