Sane, Simple, Sacred: Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween

...outside our front door...

I've tortured my facebook friends daily. Now, with no further ado, I submit my pumpkin/jack-o'-lanterns riddles and one-liners to you, my blog friends! I didn't find so many online. When I ran out, I created my own. I'll let you guess which is which (no Halloween pun intended)!

Q. What happened when a truck spilled its entire haul of pumpkins across the freeway? A. The morning commute got off to a Smashing Start

(Inspired by the Wednesday spill near Orchard Lake Road on I-696 (MI) on 10/27/11. Thanks, Dee, for bringing the "spill to my attention.)

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party? A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the jack-o'-lantern's party? A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What do you call a person who gets a pumpkin pie in the face? A."Desserted"

Q. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by the diameter? Pumpkin Pi

Q. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A. A plumpkin

Q. Who goes to the field when a pumpkin gets sick? A. Patch Adams

You might be a redneck if....The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

Q. When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? A. When you drop it; then it's squash!

Q. How do you mend a broken jack-o-lantern? A. With a pumpkin patch!.

...a few of my autumn tablecloths...thrifted, of course!

Q. Who helped the pumpkin kid cross the street on his way to school? A. the Crossing Gourd

Q. Lynn likes grapes but not potatoes. She likes squash but not lettuce, and she likes peas but not onions. Following the same pattern, will she like pumpkins or apples? A. Pumpkins (All the things she likes grow on vines.)

Q. On what day of the week do jack-o-lanterns eat their candy? A. Chewsday

Q. How did the pumpkin feel when it had no insides left? A. All right.

Q. Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the street? A. It had no guts.

Q: What is the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin? A: You can't make broomstick pie!

Q: What's the difference between a pumpkin and peanut butter? A: The pumpkin doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth!

Q. What kind of books do Jack-o'-lanterns read? A. Pulp fiction and other seedy novels (Thanks to Jess who planted the seeds for this one.)

That's ALL for now, Folks!

9 comments:

Brenda @ Its A Beautiful LifeOctober 28, 2011 at 7:49 AM
Ha ha - what a fun list you've created!
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Janie FoxOctober 28, 2011 at 8:22 AM
haha I think I might swipe a few! Love the tablecloths....could I swipe a few of those???
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Nellie's Cozy PlaceOctober 28, 2011 at 9:15 AM
Morning Rebecca,
It was so great to hear from you, and I just had
to write and say how wonderful it is to know that
you are rejoicing in good things that are happening for me, cause you know what???
Unfortunately, that is a rare thing....should not
be, but unfortunately, is!!
What a blessing you are to me, and I am sure to all who know you.
It is fun rejoicing with those who rejoice, much better than the attitude "well, I wish that was happening to me!!" Which is a lot of times what is said.
So thanks, that is a joy to know,
No time to read but just had to let you know hon,
Love and Blessings,
Nellie

Will be around next week to visit as usual.
Have a good one.
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CindyOctober 28, 2011 at 10:35 AM
Thanks for the smiles!
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Kathleen October 28, 2011 at 1:34 PM
Ooooo, I enjoyed roaming around your Fall-bedazzled site! I also enjoyed the dose of humor. Wishing you many treats, and no tricks :)
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SandyOctober 28, 2011 at 5:40 PM
These are all so cute I couldn't pick a
favorite. Thanks for sharing these and
making me smile this evening!
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JackieOctober 28, 2011 at 10:43 PM
Love your blog background, Rebecca!!!
And the jokes... Yes, I do.
Love,
Jackie
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Breathing In GraceOctober 29, 2011 at 8:02 AM
These are so cute!!! I LOVE your new background.....there's nothing like blue skies and autumn leaves!!! HOPE your weekend is great!
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Nikki (Sarah)October 29, 2011 at 4:41 PM
These are cute and love the fall trees against the blue sky
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"We simplify, not just to be less busy, even though we may be right to pursue that. Rather, we simplify to remove distractions from our pursuit of Christ. We prune activities from our lives, not only to get organized, but also that our devotion to Christ and service for His kingdom will be more fruitful. We simplify, not merely to save time, but to eliminate hindrances to the time we devote to knowing Christ. All the reasons we simplify should eventually lead us to Jesus Christ!" (Donald S. Whitney)

Dedicated to my sister-in-law, Beth--a TRUE home manager....

"I work for a King. He has put me in charge of his home. When He comes to see how I have managed His possessions and His children, I do not want to be found wanting. I want to do my best. Everything I have is on loan from Him. I have room and board and a job to do, but it is all for Him. Therefore I want to dress my best and do my best in all my work. I also want to be creative, for this is a sincere attempt to glorify Him and His beautiful creation. How I manage my home is a form of worship to Him." --Lydia Sherman

"A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry,
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in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Contentment makes poor men rich.

-Benjamin Franklin

"What I am gradually discovering is that in the writing I come in touch with the Spirit of God." ~ Nouwen

~~"Reading without reflecting is like eating without digesting."~~Edmund Burke

C.S. Lewis: "To trust Him means, of course, trying to do all that He says. There would be no sense in trusting a person if you wouldn't take his advice. Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him."

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common--this is my symphony." William Henry Channing

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The Apostle Paul: "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14)

"It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand. It stops us from taking anything for granted. It has also taught me alot about living in the immediate moment. I am somehow managing to live one day, one hour at a time." Madeleine L'Engle

FIVE CERTAINTIES
WITH WHICH TO
START YOUR DAY

God holds you. Each day he carries us in his arms. Psalm 68:19 NLT
God sustains you. THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack. Psalm 23:1 AMP
God covers you. He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings shall you trust. Psalm 91:4 AMP
God pours His love upon you. Through each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me. Psalm 42:8 NLT
God will not fail you. The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! Lamentations 3:22 NLT

THE BLOGGER'S PRAYER Lord, help me to learn to spell without spellcheck, manage to visit all that visit me, and post regularly - all in 5 minutes a day, so that I can clean house and take care of my family. Help me to not look at every occurrence in my life as a blog post, and to quit taking pictures of weird things to share as well. Please Lord, help me to stop talking about my blog friends as though they are next door neighbors or someone I have known all of my life. And help me, dear Lord, to think of something witty and wise to post tomorrow.
Love, The Dust Bunny Hostage

Sane, Simple, Sacred

Mercy