My Mother; My Self

My mother
 My mother....My self.
The older we get, the blurrier the line that separates us becomes.
In some ways, dementia takes her farther from me;
but in other ways we are closer than I remember ever being.
Sometimes I think SHE thinks she is me.
Often she is all I think about.
Her distress is mine.
Her smile makes my day.
I've never loved her like I love her today.
My mother...My self.
My self
 Ending well requires our presence. Ending well requires rest. 
Just as our piano teachers told us: at the end of the song 
do not let your fingers (let alone your body) leave their places prematurely.
It is a form of attentiveness.  And attentiveness is a form of respect.
Savor endings. Stay attentive until their last note dissipates.  
Rest in the silence that follows
for within it you just might find a milestone.

8 comments:

  1. Simply, beautifully written. You have such a way of expressing your heart.

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  2. Ah, Rebecca. This is beautiful.

    Deanna

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  3. Stay attentive until their last note dissipates.
    Rest in the silence that follows... indeed.

    These words of yours are profound.

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    Replies
    1. Tamara, those were Alicia's words from her post (link by clicking on her name). So much in that post jumped out at me given my "circumstances"! SO much..

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  4. I love this thought about "ending well." Much to ponder...

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  5. Beautiful lives/faces of grace!

    And aren't those some fabulous thoughts from Alicia? I've been thinking a lot about finishing well and staying attentive all along.

    Peace and prayers, friend.

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  6. Hi Rebecca,
    Just got to read some of your latter posts. This was a lovely post and so true about presence there
    is just such a wonderful thing about being together..........whether just sitting in silence or talking or
    doing something together, the most important thing really is the presence. We have an older Pastor
    who used to be our Pastor but lives up north now, and they come down every winter, he always say make your last lap your best..........meaning finish well. of course, and I think living in the present
    is a very good thing too.
    Blessings my friend, and thanks for being such a devoted daughter to your Mom and Dad, that
    is a beautiful testimony of your love for them. Which unfortunately today is somewhat rare.
    Nellie

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Writing a Song a Week #3

Writing a Song a Week #3
♪ I wait for the Lord; my soul waits and in his word I hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning ♪ (Psalm 130:5-6)