“Love is not a vat that you fall into randomly. Love is saying I see everything about you, 
good and bad and I am still committed to you.”  (Tim Keller)

 I posted this quote on my facebook page the other day.  It generated many comments!  In fact, as I added a comment of my own, I realized I had a seed thought for a blog post!  So (as I frequently do), I put a few notes down, and instead of "publishing", I simply saved them for future development.

And the future is NOW!  It was the word "patina" in my comment that triggered my thinking:  

 I see so many "looking for love" or "giving up on love"....THIS quote - referring to Keller's -  really summarizes the love that has kept our marriage together these 42 years (or is it 43?)....And the funny part is, I'm not sure I had ANY idea what love was at the beginning. Every year it develops another layer - "patina" they call it in the vintage/antique furniture world.

We have two old wardrobes in our home.  It is the patina that makes them so attractive to me. Included in the definition of patina is a surface appearance of something grown beautiful especially with age or aura derived from association, habit or established character.  

And how that describes our marriage!  Imperfect, but grown beautiful with age....association, habit and character!  I'm so glad I didn't give up.  I don't always FEEL "love"; but I frequently and regularly choose "commitment".

And by the way, I checked with my husband who is better at remembering dates and numbers and stuff...and it's been 42 years--going on 43. 

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (From I Corinthians 13)


  1. The wardrobes are beautiful Rebecca, I have one that is similar to these that belonged to my grandmother, she kept her quilts in them, as I do now.

    A wonderful post on commitment in marriage. I once her a minister say, "marriages had to be worked on each day, some days we don't feel like it, but we must work, anyway." I don't seem to find the type of commitment you spoke of in our society so much anymore, and I find this to be so sad. Another great post!

  2. Lovely wardrobes! I don't always feel love ....but commitment takes over at those times.

  3. this confirmed a talk I had with a friend...thanks so much for sharing, those of us a decade behind you need the pep talk at times

    1. I must confess, pep talks are sometimes easier than the daily walk - even at this stage of life. And my husband is TRULY the "better half".

  4. In November it will 43 for Frank and I. I think with age we have reaped the joy of a loving marriage after years of ups and downs.

  5. Forgot to add the wardrobe looks nice.

  6. I love Tim Keller and really enjoyed this post. I feel the same way about my marriage.. so glad that God gave grace to hang in there through the early tough years.

  7. Layer upon Layer of love - oh how your patina shines! Just beautiful, friend.

  8. A beautiful post. I love that word patina and you've given me something to think on. Blessings. xx


Writing a Song a Week #3

Writing a Song a Week #3
♪ I wait for the Lord; my soul waits and in his word I hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning ♪ (Psalm 130:5-6)