Sane, Simple, Sacred: Patina

Patina

“Love is not a vat that you fall into randomly. Love is saying I see everything about you,

good and bad and I am still committed to you.” (Tim Keller)

I posted this quote on my facebook page the other day. It generated many comments! In fact, as I added a comment of my own, I realized I had a seed thought for a blog post! So (as I frequently do), I put a few notes down, and instead of "publishing", I simply saved them for future development.

And the future is NOW! It was the word "patina" in my comment that triggered my thinking:

I see so many "looking for love" or "giving up on love"....THIS quote - referring to Keller's - really summarizes the love that has kept our marriage together these 42 years (or is it 43?)....And the funny part is, I'm not sure I had ANY idea what love was at the beginning. Every year it develops another layer - "patina" they call it in the vintage/antique furniture world.

We have two old wardrobes in our home. It is the patina that makes them so attractive to me. Included in the definition of patina is a surface appearance of something grown beautiful especially with age or use...an aura derived from association, habit or established character.

And how that describes our marriage! Imperfect, but grown beautiful with age....association, habit and character! I'm so glad I didn't give up. I don't always FEEL "love"; but I frequently and regularly choose "commitment".

And by the way, I checked with my husband who is better at remembering dates and numbers and stuff...and it's been 42 years--going on 43.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (From I Corinthians 13)

12 comments:

SueSeptember 8, 2013 at 7:40 PM
The wardrobes are beautiful Rebecca, I have one that is similar to these that belonged to my grandmother, she kept her quilts in them, as I do now.

A wonderful post on commitment in marriage. I once her a minister say, "marriages had to be worked on each day, some days we don't feel like it, but we must work, anyway." I don't seem to find the type of commitment you spoke of in our society so much anymore, and I find this to be so sad. Another great post!
ReplyDelete
Replies
MoSeptember 8, 2013 at 11:24 PM
Lovely wardrobes! I don't always feel love ....but commitment takes over at those times.
ReplyDelete
Replies
elizabethSeptember 9, 2013 at 2:07 AM
So true! Great analogy, too.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Janettessage.blogspot.comSeptember 9, 2013 at 6:27 PM
this confirmed a talk I had with a friend...thanks so much for sharing, those of us a decade behind you need the pep talk at times
ReplyDelete
Replies
DeeSeptember 9, 2013 at 7:18 PM
In November it will 43 for Frank and I. I think with age we have reaped the joy of a loving marriage after years of ups and downs.
ReplyDelete
Replies
DeeSeptember 9, 2013 at 7:18 PM
Forgot to add the wardrobe looks nice.
ReplyDelete
Replies
A Woman that Fears the LordSeptember 10, 2013 at 12:40 AM
I love Tim Keller and really enjoyed this post. I feel the same way about my marriage.. so glad that God gave grace to hang in there through the early tough years.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Lori ZehrSeptember 10, 2013 at 7:33 AM
Very good thoughts!
ReplyDelete
Replies
elaine @ peace for the journeySeptember 10, 2013 at 10:00 AM
Layer upon Layer of love - oh how your patina shines! Just beautiful, friend.
ReplyDelete
Replies
JoyfulSeptember 21, 2013 at 6:38 AM
A beautiful post. I love that word patina and you've given me something to think on. Blessings. xx
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

"We simplify, not just to be less busy, even though we may be right to pursue that. Rather, we simplify to remove distractions from our pursuit of Christ. We prune activities from our lives, not only to get organized, but also that our devotion to Christ and service for His kingdom will be more fruitful. We simplify, not merely to save time, but to eliminate hindrances to the time we devote to knowing Christ. All the reasons we simplify should eventually lead us to Jesus Christ!" (Donald S. Whitney)

Dedicated to my sister-in-law, Beth--a TRUE home manager....

"I work for a King. He has put me in charge of his home. When He comes to see how I have managed His possessions and His children, I do not want to be found wanting. I want to do my best. Everything I have is on loan from Him. I have room and board and a job to do, but it is all for Him. Therefore I want to dress my best and do my best in all my work. I also want to be creative, for this is a sincere attempt to glorify Him and His beautiful creation. How I manage my home is a form of worship to Him." --Lydia Sherman

"A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry,
and see a fine picture every day of his life,
in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Contentment makes poor men rich.

-Benjamin Franklin

"What I am gradually discovering is that in the writing I come in touch with the Spirit of God." ~ Nouwen

~~"Reading without reflecting is like eating without digesting."~~Edmund Burke

C.S. Lewis: "To trust Him means, of course, trying to do all that He says. There would be no sense in trusting a person if you wouldn't take his advice. Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him."

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common--this is my symphony." William Henry Channing

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Apostle Paul: "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14)

"It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand. It stops us from taking anything for granted. It has also taught me alot about living in the immediate moment. I am somehow managing to live one day, one hour at a time." Madeleine L'Engle

FIVE CERTAINTIES
WITH WHICH TO
START YOUR DAY

God holds you. Each day he carries us in his arms. Psalm 68:19 NLT
God sustains you. THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack. Psalm 23:1 AMP
God covers you. He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings shall you trust. Psalm 91:4 AMP
God pours His love upon you. Through each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me. Psalm 42:8 NLT
God will not fail you. The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! Lamentations 3:22 NLT

THE BLOGGER'S PRAYER Lord, help me to learn to spell without spellcheck, manage to visit all that visit me, and post regularly - all in 5 minutes a day, so that I can clean house and take care of my family. Help me to not look at every occurrence in my life as a blog post, and to quit taking pictures of weird things to share as well. Please Lord, help me to stop talking about my blog friends as though they are next door neighbors or someone I have known all of my life. And help me, dear Lord, to think of something witty and wise to post tomorrow.
Love, The Dust Bunny Hostage

Sane, Simple, Sacred

Mercy

Patina

12 comments:

Writing a Song a Week #3